[This is the second guest post in this blog. Written by my best friend, Bharathkumar. He gave this script to me on a sheet of paper three years back and its took this long for me to type it up and upload. Only because I was lazy. But hey, I never lost that paper!]

I really do not know where to start and how to write this. Today I am tasked to write about an event in my life, which greatly inspired and influenced me. Well, there was a breakup which did some significant construction (damage first). Then my long recovery, the trips I made, the temples I visited, the books I read, topics like Advaita and concepts from the Bhagavad Gita. Of course, these things turned my world upside down. My girlfriend(ex) had done that too. But, these things took it to a whole different level. I witnessed my belief systems getting destroyed within me. The Gods I believed in, my hope and faith in such an entity. I no longer know what to believe in and whether to pray for something. I am confused and am standing directionless in this nonsensical dimension, called life. I mean, what is the whole point, or idea behind life?

People have adviced me, had asked me to wake up (to what?). Then once my friend said to me “here is the key: Break your body, break your mind, and break your breath. You will find the meaning. Just don’t ask me how to do it”. Honestly, I do not know what that means, but I guess, yeah. I will figure it out. And that will answer all my questions. However, this is not what I wanted to write about, today. Therefore, this is the story.

I am a medicine student.  One day, my team and I were standing in the OP (outpatient) of Ophthalmology Department. Fifteen students and one professor in a small room: everyone trying to catch a glimpse of the eye of the poor patient sitting with the doctor. Professor will be explaining things in a low voice and I am not sure whether she really expects us to see the “signs” in the patient’s eye within those 10 seconds she flashes the light. By the time we register what we just saw and start to scramble though the textbook, the professor will be done and dusted with the diagnosis. One have to be quick-everything in the medical profession.

That day, a mother and son came to the OP. Mother was probably in her 40s and son was a high school student. The mother was somewhat blind before; she had vision only in one eye. However, she lost that too, now. She was working as a pharmacist. I forgot to mention she was partly deaf. However, this visit was not about her, but the son. When we realized whom the patient was, my classmates dived in and started observing the kid’s eye with the flashlight. It might have been frightening for him, but he stayed calm. The kid had only partial vision in that eye: my “bookish” friends did not have to think twice. Okay, so they moved to the next eye. The moment they shone the flashlight in that direction, the boy remarked “No need, it’s a fake eye anyway”. They were taken aback by the absolute calm response of the boy. Then the kid explained that he also had a surgery recently for the heart valves and showed us the scar that was left behind. I was looking at him for some sign of sadness or despair. But he was as calm as Buddha, sporting a cool light smile. I could not believe what I was seeing.

I was thinking, it was just for losing a short-lived relationship that I were in a depression for more than a year. I had just about everything else. If I were in this kid’s situation, I would have killed myself by now. This kid before me is full of life. He is not faking a bit of it. I had my lesson.

We all have our own problems, I had mine. I always thought about why I didn’t deserve the love of that girl (who never actually loved me). Just a glimpse of this kid, and all my egos perished to a thousand pieces. I was nothing; my problems were nothing in front of him. When I was killing myself every day for all the teeny tiny problems I had, this young boy was living and cherishing his life, knowing about the uncertainty that might be lurking around.

Like the Hindu scriptures say, the world is filled with Maya. The world is unreal. This kid sitting in front of me is not blind, but I am. The world is full of darkness. It is not him or his eyes. It is we: the world.

That was the event. Honestly, I do not know for sure whether it changed anything in me. However, the afterword is that “Life is the best teacher”. All you have to do is to have an open mind to look for the signs and read them. I do not know whether I believe in God or whether I am also part of his intelligent master plan. I just look forward to what is to come.

 

–Bharathkumar